Understanding Matrescence: Why You Feel the Way You Do

Samantha Hall
May 12
2 min read

Motherhood changes you.

Not just your sleep schedule. Not just your priorities.

It changes your identity, your body, your relationships, your place in the world.

If you’ve ever felt like you lost yourself in motherhood, or like you’re rebuilding yourself from scratch, you’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re going through something called matrescence.

And it’s as real as adolescence.

What is Matrescence?

Matrescence is the developmental process of becoming a mother. It’s physical. It’s emotional. It’s social. It’s psychological. It’s even spiritual.

Think about adolescence:You didn’t just wake up one day a fully formed adult. You grew. You stumbled. You questioned everything. You evolved.

Matrescence is the same.

When you become a mother, you’re stepping into a new social role and that shift reshapes how you see yourself and how the world sees you .

It’s joyful. It’s terrifying.It’s beautiful. It’s brutal.

And both things can be true at the same time (this is called maternal ambivalence and we'll talk about that).

A Quick Note on Where the Term Came From

If you want the full story on the origins of matrescence including the anthropologist who first named it, Dana Raphael I break it all down right here.(Spoiler: It’s been hiding in plain sight since the 1970s, but society is just now catching up.)

Matrescence Isn’t Just Postpartum

A lot of people hear "matrescence" and think it’s just something that happens when you have a newborn.But the reality is: matrescence is ongoing.

You move through it again and again:

When your baby becomes a toddler.
When your kid starts kindergarten.
When your teen pulls away.
When your last baby leaves home.

Every shift in your child's life is an invitation to shift yourself.

Each time, you’re mourning, celebrating, adjusting, and redefining who you are.

The Seasons of Matrescence

Just like nature moves through seasons, your matrescence unfolds in seasons too. The certification I hold is in the Seasons of Matrescence model by Niki McCahon.

Some parts will feel like spring: blooming, hopeful, new.

Some parts will feel like winter: stripped down, quiet, heavy.

Some parts will feel like autumn: letting go, surrendering.

Some parts will feel like summer: vibrant, alive, fully expressed.

Just like our four seasons, you will not stay in one season forever. You will cycle through them, over and over again.

Understanding this makes you softer with yourself.You stop asking, "Why can’t I just feel good all the time?"And you start realizing: "I’m evolving, and it’s okay to be in a season of change."